Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
