I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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