he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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