totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pants are for mortals
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
