I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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