The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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