We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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