My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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