I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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