drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
porn star boner night. come get it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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