just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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