I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
