please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize