her vagine was all disorganized.
Your dad touched me again.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
