A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
