So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
