i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
