The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize