Jerry, you need to find god
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
