No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
