Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
