And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
