I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
