apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize