Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
