So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
