Moan for me like Helen Keller
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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