i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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