someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
