how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
