is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
