Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
