Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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