the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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