My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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