How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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