Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
