And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
