yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
