there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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