well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
