actually, I'm a sock model
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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