Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i drank out of a bidet.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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