Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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