Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
