therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
