I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
