Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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