I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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