Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
