it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
