i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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