Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you win again, gameday.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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