meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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