Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
