Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
