brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
