sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
sex in a hospital.. check
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
