At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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