we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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