So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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