look no pants
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
