would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
