she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
