hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize